PALAVRAS ESTÚPIDAS 108

The Dress

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I'm actually Peppermint Patty, Charlie.

I sympathize with Jodie Foster who claims that forcing her to go shopping for clothes is the same as sticking needles in her eyes.

I'm actually every guy's dream! I HATE SHOPPING.

Maybe I should go around with a sign in my back proclaiming that to the world. Maybe people would offer me money or prizes. Men would surely cheer me. Maybe they would even take me in arms, same as they do with soccer players.

The thing is, Charlie, I had to go out shopping for a dress for a fancy evening gala.

Blaaaaaarghhhhh!!!!!!!

I would much prefer that someone would stick needles in my eyes.

Why can't I go with my old Levis and my tennis shoes?

I could make that a fashion statement ...

No? I guess I don't have the authority to make fashion statements.

So back to the dress.

It got me thinking why the hell did I enter the damn contest in the first place ... And won!

If I hadn't entered the contest, I wouldn't have won, and I wouldn't need a god damn dress, AND high heels AND purse!

That's right, Charlie. It's never just a dress, is it? Nooooooo. There has to be a pair of shoes and a bloody purse.

So I got the damn dress. And the damn purse. No shoes, though. The shoes are a HUGE problem. And I thought I had a problem with the dress!

But, I'm half way there. It could be worse. Maybe I could go shoeless, like Peppermint Patty. And make that a fashion statement. After all, it is a gala about the Seven Natural Wonders ... And what could be more naturish than to walk bare footed? With a flower stuck between my teeth?

No?