PSICANÁLISE IX

Charlie

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There are, once in a while, extraordinary days in our lives. Some are for the best of reasons. Others for the worst possible ones. But I can't remember, though I have tried, a single extraordinary day in my life that became such a day for the best and the worst reasons at the same time. I must have had at least another one. But it was such a long time ago, that it simply faded away in my memory.
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There will come a day when this too shall pass, I know. But it will be a long time until that happens. And if today was a sample of the rest of the week, I'm afraid I will not survive the entire journey to tell the whole story.

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Today I saw the best of me and the worst of me, the best of others and their worst. Not necessarily in this order or in the same person. And though the two events were not connected in any way, in my heart I know they were. For the occurrence of the first one opened a door in my depths that eventually ignited the other one.

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The door was opened unconspicuously and silently by an event which I can only describe as wonderful. And though I never noticed that door being opened, I could feel its effects on me almost right away. I sat quietly and marvelled as it unfolded before me and surprised me in a way I can't recall ever happening.

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The true effects of it were only felt hours later when I was surprised by the "devastation" it left in my soul. How could such a simple, soft and apparentely insignificant moment have the remarkable power to leave me absolutely unprotected and wipe away all the masks I have been building for years to cover myself?

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Because of that, I crashed down in a moment when I should have been strong and cold and because I crashed, others were led in the same path until a true battle of souls was taking place right before my overwhelmed eyes, with no possibility of turning back time.

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And the only thing I can think of to comfort myself, Charlie, is to say over and over again "This too shall pass", but not quite wanting all of it to pass ...

Thanks Charlie, for making me laugh when all I feel like is crying.

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