PSICANÁLISEXXXII

The Art of Making Shit
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I may not be good at anything else, Charlie, but there is something I excell in - making shit. It's really an art form, come to think of it.

This year I trully achieved the highest level of shit ever, and mastered with honours. çlfºçdlf
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To master in making shit, you need to get excellent grades in the following subjects:
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1. Saying all the wrong things at exactly the wrong time and with the precice opposite intention and expression of what you wish to convey.

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2. Always looking like a perfect idiot, while pretending very hard to be perceived as a very bright person.
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3. A much less spectacular but nonetheless important subject comprises of tripping, looking odd and handling objects with such disgraceful care that what really seems and feels is that the object is actually handling you - hence, they fall, get tangled or break with remarkable ease whenever you're around (you'll never guess how many bowls of soup I dropped in the kitchen this year ...).
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4. Being a champ in creating misunderstandings, when what you really want is to clarify things.

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5. Taking ages to make up your mind and then simply deciding from the thousands of possibilities at your disposal exactly on the worst one - it takes real genious, I tell you ...
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6. Being sure of understanding the hidden meanings of everything, when in reality you end up concluding you haven't got a clue of what's going on or, another interesting variation, you do eventually get it ... but a little too late.

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So, Charlie, if for nothing else, I should congratulate myself for having the great capacity of making the best shit ever (and a great chilli too ...). Something not many people can brag about ... ;)

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